Bradley's Odyssey Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

Show and Tell

Bradley leaped over a ten-foot long, blue crayon. He ran past a tall, paper sculpture (perhaps a wad of Writing’s paper) and caught his breath behind a desk leg. At that moment, another bell rang.
“Time for Show and Tell,” Reading called out.
“Awww! But the little-bitty boy got out of the jar,” said Writing. “Now we have nothing to bring.”
“So I’ll do times problems on the blackwall,” said Arithmetic.
“And I’ll read my book Fun With X-Rays,” said Reading.
“And I’ll write rows of cursive X’s,” said Writing.
From where he stood, Bradley could see the beach and the ocean beyond. The tide ebbed swiftly, exposing a large rock close to shore. As more and more of the dark slab came into view, Bradley made out a familiar shape.
“A rocking chair,” he exclaimed. “It’s a rock rocking chair.”
Seaweed dangled from the chair’s arms and rockers. Barnacles and starfish adorned the back and legs. But Bradley’s attention was drawn to the seat, where two hideous creatures sat.
Both had large flabby bodies, like sumo wrestlers, draped in white robes. Both had bare bellies that hung over their folded legs and round bald heads that gleamed in the morning sun. One had large eyes, round and shiny like CD’s, but no ears. The other had ears the size of dinner plates, but no eyes.
The creature with eyes spoke first. “Welcome to Show and Tell Time. I’m Show and by my side is Tell. Will all presenters present for today’s program please step forward. When making your presentation stand up straight and do not sway. Present your presentation in a loud, clear voice. Avoid saying um, ah, and you know.”
At this point, the creature reached to his mouth and pulled out a slender, slimy tongue. He handed the slug-like thing to Tell, who inserted it between his lips like a cherry Popsicle.
“Oh, ick,” said Bradley, realizing what he had just witnessed.
“You will have two minutes to show or tell us something,” Tell said. “If we find it interesting, we will show or tell you anything you request. But if you bore us, you will be severely punished. Now who wants to go first?”
Bradley stepped onto the beach. Surely he wanted to find the Thinking Cap, but what interesting thing did he have to show or tell? He searched his backpack and pulled out a picture he had drawn recently.
“Um, hello, my name is Bradley Zimmerman, and ah, I brought something to show,” he said. “You see, yesterday I spotted a turtle by the lake. This morning during math, I drew this picture of it.”
Show clicked his fingers, and Tell handed him back the tongue. The moment he rammed it into his mouth, out came one word like a foghorn. “Bo-o-o-o-oring!”
Bradley turned hot and red.
“You call that interesting, Bradley Zimmerman,” Show said. “That’s a scribble compared to the masterpieces others have shown me. Why, a few centuries ago a man named Leonardo Da Vinci showed a picture of a smiling lady named Mona something or other. Now that was interesting. As a punishment for boring us, you will remain in the Coat Closet of Doom for one millennium.”
Bradley thought quickly. “But I also have something to tell,” he said. “Last week during recess, I found a trail of ants on the playground. I followed it from the swing set to the slide. Every ant was carrying a leaf at least five times its size.”
The tongue returned to Tell. “Bo-o-o-o-oring!” he bellowed. “Who cares, Bradley Zimmerman? Others have told me about walking on the moon, writing great books, and climbing high mountains. As a punishment for boring us again, you will sit in the Time Out Chair of Terror for two millenniums.”
Bradley looked at his feet. Nothing I’ve ever done will interest these creatures, he thought. But as he peered downward, an idea flashed in his brain. Quickly, he stooped and scooped something off the ground.
He stood, holding the prize out, squeezed tightly in his fist. “Here is one of the most interesting items on earth,” he announced.
Tell turned an ear toward Bradley. Show’s eyes grew wider.
“With these tiny objects in my hand, humans have made some of their most useful things--glass for windows and processing chips for computers.”
The rock rocking chair rocked swiftly back and forth.
“Tell us what it is, Bradley Zimmerman,” said Tell. “I’ve never heard of anything so interesting.”
“Humans use this for making concrete to build roads and cement to erect buildings,” Bradley went on. “They even pour it into boxes for children to play in.
The tongue returned to Show. “Show me, Bradley Zimmerman,” he said. “I can’t see it from here.”
“I’ll bring it closer,” said Bradley. “But first let me whisper its name into Tell’s ear.”
Bradley stepped up to the rock rocking chair. He leaned toward Tell’s big right ear and whispered, “Sand.”
A frown crossed Tell’s tongueless mouth. He clicked his fingers. The instant Show passed him the tongue, Bradley snatched it from his hand and backed away.
The thing wriggled in Bradley’s grip like a fish. “Oh, ick,” he repeated. “My teacher tells me to hold my tongue, but I never thought I’d be holding someone else’s.”
Show and Tell rocked in a fury. They shook their fists in the air.
Bradley held up the tongue. “What’s the matter, Show and Tell?” he said. “A boring cat got your tongue?
The creatures, unable to speak, motioned with their hands, begging for the tongue’s return.
“Now this is interesting,” said Bradley. “What good are Show and Tell without a tongue? So here’s the bargain. Tell me where to find the Thinking Cap, and I’ll return this to you. If not, I’ll drop it into the sea. A slip of the tongue, you could call it.”
The creatures nodded in unison.
Bradley handed the tongue to Show, who quickly inserted it into his mouth. “That was what I call an interesting trick, Bradley Zimmerman,” he said. “The Thinking Cap is hidden on an island, two days journey northeast of here.”
Tell retrieved the tongue. “But be warned, Bradley Zimmerman,” he said. “The Thinking Cap is guarded by the crankiest monster that has ever dwelled on Earth. This beast is nastier than the nine-headed Hydra slain by Hercules, meaner than snake-haired Medusa killed by Perseus. Bradley Zimmerman, the Thinking Cap is guarded by a giant, slimy worm called the Great Pedagog.”
“A giant worm?” said Bradley. “But I hate worms. How can I get the Thinking Cap with a monstrous worm in the way?”
In the meantime, the tide had risen as rapidly as it fell. The rocking chair legs were already underwater. Now the seat disappeared as well.
“Show, show me! Tell, tell me!” Bradley called out. “How can I get past the Great Pedagog?”
“That’s all for now,” Tell said, as his body submerged. The tongue went to Show. “Next Show and Tell Time, next week, same time, same place,” he said, before his head went underwater.
Soon the entire the rock rocking chair had vanished beneath the ocean.